Beerfest Breakfast 10 am Staurday HQ

 

Hi there gang.

 

Todays cartoon is the 2nd part to yesterdays. So cute.

 

I wrote too much yesterday so only a short one today. 

 

For those who are interested the company chef is cooking up a storm tomorrow for our Beerfest breakfast. Sourdough toast, eggs, bacon, sausage, baked tomatoes, potato rosti's and slow cooked garlic mushrooms.

 

It sounds fantastic. Mouths are watering, 10 am Saturday at HQ.  All the gang will be there and at Beerfest from 12 -5.

 

Come along to Breakfast and Beerfest and enjoy the sun and fun. Fucken Ace Bruzzy.

 

Sinister Cock-Roache.

Survivabilty Quotient to be expressed as a percentage.

 



Today I thought we'd take a look at how we can utilise our brains to put together a percentage figure to express how likely it is that an individual will survive a life threatening or apocalyptic scenario of some sort.

To start with we need to discuss our Basic Energy Surplus (BES); as a figure between 1-99. BES represents our individual level of fitness, strength, endurance and physical thresholds. For example a professional athlete's BES would be perhaps within the 90s due to their training regimes and fitness levels. A couch slob would be in the low 20s or so, lack of exercise and endurance capability.

Basing our mathematics around hours of strenuous activity, passive activity and sleep in 5 days 120hrs. My hours of strenuous activity in 5 days = 45(physical job as a baker + work out regime) passive activity = 50 (drawing, cleaning and house life stuff) sleep =25

95 hours active (strenuous and passive are mostly =)  25 hours asleep per 120 hours/5days= BES of 79.17%. Pretty high here which is good but not everything.

Keep this in mind but, now we move to our Level of Acceptable Deprivation (LAD%) . LAD refers to the other aspects of our lives the inner bits. Caloric intake, cold/heat/pain thresholds and tolerances, resistance to disease and poison, stress and how the environment impacts our body and soul.

To put some maths on the table for this one we first break it into 4 categories: Environment, food., stress and comfort. Now we express these as best we can as a figure between out of 25, lower being better for SQ.

For me I live in relatively cosy environs, but I can and have roughed it and often but am far from outdoorsy, so 15 / 25 for environment.

I don't eat more than 1 meal a day and get by being hungry quite well, so I'd be 10 if I ate more than 3 meals and was full often the number would be 20 or so.

I work under pressure all the time and have a pretty stressful lifestyle and I cope very well. 5.

Comfort is the most subjective of the four and I don't like the term that much (not so apt) but refers essentially to how into our little creature comforts you ate, shaving, chocolate, beauty sleep, peaceful alone time. The good things in life. I indulge quite some in life so 20 for me here.

In total out of 100 I get a respectable 50.
Overall LAD% of  50% so bung on average despite my best efforts, but not all that bad, Joe Average lives long.

For our final Survivability Quotient we must take BES% and LAD %.
 50/79.17    =   SQ  63.16%

Therefore in all fairness I have an above average chance of surviving a life threating or apocalyptic scenario.

Thanks for reading guys.

If you have better maths than this please let me know as this is very important research and we must take it very seriously.

Cheers again.

Sinister Cock-Roache (may not survive everything and anything after all, bum)

How Humans Have Failed

Afternoon chaps.

We thought it was about time we let you know how exactly your species has failed at almost everything. Crazily you guys still don't understand how fucked up you have been and are still being. What follows is a loose collection of ramblings that we all agree are excellent examples of your utter failure.

Let's briefly check the environmental record, and wait... no, yep, it's fucked. Well done! You failed excellent so far and are showing very little signs of changing as a collective whole that is... No one cares if 'you' is carbon neutered or sustainable lifestyled, India and China are not and neither is the USA. So whatever you do is frankly piss all.

Know that you are by and large speciest and have terrible value sets. How haven't you violated other humans rights and abused this or that. Even a meagre existence has tremendous unseeable consequences. This is the fundamental problem with your being.

Unfair treatment is all the rage... fail. Fuck, each case on its merits, cheese wiz. How fucking entitled are the vast majority of you, even when you are trying to be humble and meek, you can't do it ever! FAIL!

There's also the flawed belief in your superiority over the planet, where you should be rather beholden to it and awed by it in its glory. But you aint. Fail! Plunder some resources, be all high and mighty super righty. With a sprinkling o' fascist global rape as the cost of progress.

Humans have undergone very slow mental changes and have simultaneously suffered rapid physical devolution. Awaken and grow your ideas up into the higher planes of being. We really don't got nuthin' else to do here and that so why not yo?

Thanks for being here and clicking all the buttons and soaking up the screen radiation. It was nice of you.

Now, go rescue a kitten, or a puppy or a homeless. It's about time. Be a god on earth and create change now!

Sinister Cock-Roache and the human host.

Overeducated Scumbags

Right so. Straight to it.

It occurs to me that there are a number of people out there in the wider worlds who have become somewhat overeducated.  These people sometimes have multiple degrees or whatnots, can speak other languages and know things about stuff. But they suck at putting it all into practice as society would have intended.

Numerous overeducated scumbags are hipsters, some are punks or rappers or rockers or whatever. They are creative artists that can barely pay the bills. These people have perhaps failed at there professional careers and have become internet cartoonists or fine artists in general.

These scumbags like to challenge political and social viewpoints and have discovered that the key to a life is happiness and wellbeing.  they find coping with the idiot regime stressful and as a result are referred to as disconnected loonies or antisocial, when they are far from this.

Perhaps they have too many opinions and have too much fun living their lives and as a result are undervalued as members of society, which is kinda dumb and sucky.

There are many ways to be successful and live happily, working for the corporate machine as a junior clerk sounds like shit. Having a fulltime job of any kind is a bit silly, unless of course you work for yourself trying to create something new and fun.

Keep on dreaming Suzie.
Sinister Cock-Roache

Monday Madness Oh Yeah!

Yolla.

Sup doods.

Here's the anecdotes regarding my awkward encounters with celebrities.

System of a Down. I met these guys at Melbourne airport during the Big Day Out Tour 04 I think. I chatted at them as they unloaded their bus and got their shit together for the flight to wherever. Darren and Serj were so cool, and were good humoured as I flapped like a mad cunt. Was so happy for days.

Metallica: This was a less nice experience that SOAD, I saw James chilling with Kirk and some other blokes, so I'm like, fucking run and bow down, but then an army of security got to me first and got me to the ground. Apparently there was a line and stuff, Hetfield was coming  back from taking a piss and I thought he was just chilling with Kirk, I were wrong. He did laugh at me as I was dragged away. SO that's a win. YAY.

NOFX: Tried to sneak onto their truck, unsuccessful. Mr Mike seemed unimpressed and might even have sworn at me but I feel justified. And I didn't get photo or autographs at all ever from them. Great show but.

I never think far enough ahead to ask for photos etc, it is a bit rude, especially since I  just ran up to them screaming like a retard, what would you expect.

Until tomorrow... Keep scratching.

Sinister.

Aging Population of an Island State.

Hey Team. It's time to solve the aging population problem, just like we did in Hell.  Coax those relatives into the car and drop 'em over at the "centre for the old and soft." It's Free and fun to do, over and over again... Yay.


On a more serious note, (musically) I wanted to list some of the bands and musicians I have seen in concert and met in person, however awkwardly. Basically 2 zippy lists and tomorrow we will give some anecdotes and more list of artists we like to listen to in the office or whatever. Cool.

Seen in Concert:

1. Metallica
2. The Rolling Stones
3. KISS
4. Blind Guardian
5. The Living End.
6. Spiderbait
7. The Herd
8. Joe Cocker
9. AC/DC
10. NOFX
11. Psycroptic
12. BloodDuster

Met in Person (however awkwardly)

1. System of a Down
2. Metallica (James and Kirk)
3. NOFX (Fat Mike)

Purty cool huh. Obviously this is an incomplete list, Pub bands and shit bands don't really count.

Stay tuned tomorrow for Anecdotes regarding my awkward fan boy encounters.

Sinister Cock-Roache

Mc Happy Day

Yo.

Is Mc Happy Day today so, lets not buy burgers lets help a homeless or a sick person instead.

Coz that would be better than the alternative surely.

Macca's and the big Macs contribute more negative effects to society that they could ever undo, whether Mc Happy Day was every day, nor if they returned every dollar made back into charitable and community programs. I'm sure with Macca's net earnings put to better use we could well see world peace by next Friday.

Anyway, keep sucking at the teat of ignorance and don't bitch to me when your fucked and bleeding at the side of the road.

Sinister Cock_Roache